I had a year to ease into it. Mothering two children. It was obviously a little challenging having a two year old and a newborn simply because I was exhausted and I was riding on an emotional roller-coaster. Once Harper was sleeping through the night it was bliss. I was happy. So happy. I have two adorable perfect little girls that I get to call mine. All mine. After my one year trial of being a mother of two was up the real deal started and it stayed. Harper woke up...she doesn't just sit and play with toys...she wants to walk...explore...play...and learn. She whines. She cries. She's challenging. Sawyer, now being 3, is more inquisitive, stubborn, defiant and mischievous. It is a lot of work. Real life is hard. Parenting is a lot harder than I suspected it would be. Exhausting. Sometimes it feels like mild torture. But it is great. I am grateful.
I am starting to love this semi-chaotic kind of life. Things aren't always perfect. Kids can do embarrassing things in public. Scream & cry and throw tantrums when you really wish they were sound asleep...peaceful. I sometimes lose control of my babes...they throw things, break things, trip, fall, spill on their clothes, get lollipop in their hair, point at me and say "You're impossible!" but it's all so worth it. All of the chaos makes the quiet, happy, content moments just that much more special.
We want more kids. Don't know an exact number...but we know we still have room to grow. My parents laugh at me while one kid is under the restaurant table and the other is throwing a piece of chicken on the floor. We are a mess. Trying to gain control. But in a weird way, it's fun, and it is what life is about. At least, it is what our lives are about. Family.
I have some friends that are going through one of life's biggest trials - they have a sick baby in critical condition hoping and praying she gets a much need liver transplant. They put things in perspective. They have taught me so much.
Nothing is ever perfect...but I am really cozying up to this idea of a semi-chaotic kind of life. And I love my husband more and more every day because of it. We make a good team.