Thursday, June 2, 2011

Balancing Act

Oof, life has been a balancing act lately.  Now that Harper is needing/wanting/getting more attention these days, I think Sawyer is feeling kind of threatened and she is being pretty stinking clingy.  It is endearing.  And sweet.  A some part of me loves it.  But there is a part of me that thinks it is a little annoying. Or a lot annoying.  I want to play with her, I want to do fun things with her, but it is not possible to play allllll day long, and then to have her cry because she wants to sleep with us?  Oh boy.  I know she will get over it, it is just a phase.  "Mommy, don't leave me!" "Mommy, playyyy with me!" "Mommy, I want to sleep in YOUR bed!" "Mommy, sit with me!" "Mommy, don't check your emails!" (ok, I really should stop looking at my phone...I read emails and then forget to respond a lot of times anyways, so why bother checking it so frequently?)  


Harper is changing too.  Harper gets into things.  Harper wants to play.  Sawyer is sort of acting how she acted the first couple weeks after Harper came home from the hospital...a little territorial.  Now that Harper is mobile it is a whole new ball game for me.  For us.  She is still pretty easy, but she is certainly more interested in exploring and she gets frustrated if she is confined for too long.  She cries whenever I get her in her car seat, or get her close to it for that matter (remember how it was her "safe place" when she was a little freshy?) but she usually gets over it pretty quickly once the car gets moving and the music gets turned on.  Our girls are great.  I still think they are better/easier than most kids their ages, but they are still human.  Harper is learning how to have temper tantrums.  Isn't that neat?  I have to put on a clown show while I change her diaper otherwise she flails about and cries as soon as I lay her down to change her.  That's exciting.  Sawyer is usually pretty good until it is time to leave somewhere...and if she is having fun and doesn't want to leave, she does this fake cry. It is obnoxious.


I remember my mom saying (well, she still says it) how as a parent you always want to keep everything even with your kids and you are constantly worried if everyone is getting the same attention...same amount of things...same amount of love...you know, just keeping it all balanced. Well that is where I am at, just trying to keep the girls balanced.  I want them always to feel equal in every way.  I think I am doing ok with it, but it makes me feel sad if I think someone is getting slightly more attention than the other one.  I can only imagine how much more complicated this gets the more kids you add to the equation.  


Besides for keeping my kids balanced, I am trying to keep my own life in balance too.  Trying to not spend as many countless hours at the computer but still getting my work done.  Trying to not take as many pictures of my own family (I still take pictures...but I did go an ENTIRE day without my camera, and it felt GREAT) but still capturing the moments I don't want to forget.  Going to bed early and getting a good amount of sleep so I don't spend the entire next day feeling like trash and not being able to accomplish anything anyways (which, that reminds me, I should probably be sleeping right about now).  Trying to exercise, read, keep up with laundry, keep my house clean, keeping the house stocked with food (lets face it...grocery shopping is just not my thing), spending quality time with friends, spending quality time with the husband, not wasting time but still relaxing.  Hanging out with Marc, with quality hanging out time, it is probably my favorite thing to do.  I always feel good after a good weekend or after a fun afternoon/evening after he gets home from work.  All of our time together is quality time, but some feels more quality-ish than others.  Don't read to deeply into that, I am not being a perv.


Oh, and as it turns out, I am not a quitter.  Just a cutter-backer.  We don't have soda in our house.  But I am not opposed to drinking a Coke with my sandwich at Board & Brew. I feel good about it. 


As always, I am sure I am writing jibberish and everyone is scrolling through the words to get to the pictures.  I am constantly trying to get caught up on our photos, but here are some randoms from the end of the month.


The girls were playing so cute together in their playhouse.  I was sneaking pictures through the window.  Sawyer was gently rubbing Harper's cheek while Harper got rehydrated.




Some friends gave us this cute flower sprinkler toy and the girls love it.  Harper is a water baby, she kicks her legs with excitement as soon as I turn the bath water on.



Since I partly feel a little bad that Sawyer is feeling needy, we decided to have the babysitter stay with Harper last Friday night and Marc and I took her on a date to Rip Tide for dinner.  On that next Saturday night Marc & Sawyer went on a movie date night together, just the two of them.  Isn't that cute?  I love daddy and daughter things like that.



This little girls' eyes are so sparkly and lovely.  I am mildly jealous.


On Memorial Day Marc had to do some work from home, but we were able to carve out some time to visit the beach and play with bubbles and eat lunch together.  We lounged in the sun in our backyard together that day too...I guess Marc didn't really have all that much work to do.


In my kids' eyes, bubbles and swings is what it is all about.  



Harper got her own pair of Tiny Toms (like her big sister)and was trying them out. She looks a little unsure in this picture.  I think she needs the silver pair too.  What do you think?


And this post wasn't meant to be all about me complaining.  I am just tired tonight.  And kind of grumpy.  And it is partly because I had to wake up to an alarm this morning which I think is like the crappiest thing ever (spoiled much? Sorry Marc :-/) and I woke the girls up to take Harper to her 1 year check-up...and guess what?! I showed up a whole week early.  Bummer.

Something cute that Sawyer said to me the other day..."Mom, will you be my co-pilot?".  I have no clue where she heard that, but I liked it.  And I was honored.  

Time to catch my zzzz's so I am not a beast tomorrow.  Just kidding, I am never a beast.  Or am I?  Please don't ask Marc.
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